Fast Times at the Motorcycle Liquidation Auction
It has been a pretty crazy few days.
Last I caught wind that the local motorcycle shop was auctioning off some inventory on September 12. Intrigued by the idea of two-wheeled performance at undercut prices, I cased out the warehouse with my fellow petrolhead Jeff the day before.
There was quite a collection of machinery to behold.
A three-wheeled electric truck... now that's about as niche market as it gets.
Some sort of ex-military dual sport, by Harley Davidson
This mid-90's CBR was actually one of the cleanest bikes on offer, despite having some questionable damage including ground-down frame sliders... no thank you. But I did like the seating position.
The warehouse was full of motorcycles, weird electric trucks, quads, dirt bikes… even some random junk like water pumps and a broken tire balancer. Outside there was a 40′ Formula boat that had seen better days… a few old stand-up Jet Skis and some snowmobiles. So it was pretty much a Maine Wal-Mart parking lot.
Despite all the junk packing the floor, there was one diamond in the rough nestled between a Goldwing and a badly-abused Ducati 999.
I like where this is going.
A 1991 Suzuki GSXR750; one of my favorite motorcycles of all time. I love the dual front headlights and taillights plus the graphics are nice and geometric- no tribal graphics or claw marks to be found. I felt a semi coming on and decided to take a closer look.
Vehicle is very clean all around. Very minor wear on plastics especially for its age. As this is a reconstruction title, it is likely that the plastics are newer than the bike itself. Everything works, except low-beam headlights and “Cyclops” running light. Likely blown fuse, possible blown filament and bulb respectively.
Engine fires up quickly and smells decent. Revs smoothly. Somewhat “gassy” smell, possibly due to running rich or from the gas tank vent which is missing its hose… this hose would usually direct the gas fumes to the ground, rather than toward the rider’s face as is the current situation.
Will not idle near stock 1,200 RPM level, it dies if brought down this low. Idle will survive at around 2,500 RPM lowest.
Clutch friction zone is significantly “further out” than most other vehicles I have driven- yet no sign of slippage even under hard acceleration, so I think this is just a characteristic of the motorcycle that I’m not yet used to.
Tires are matching and in good condition- so probably no burnouts (or not too many). Aftermarket exhaust has surface rust, likely installed a long time ago. Adjustable brake lever appears to be aftermarket. Brakes are excellent. Bar-end caps may be aftermarket. Windscreen may be aftermarket. No aftermarket sprocket- so this wasn’t a stunt bike. No skull decals or “No Fear” stickers, which were dealbreakers on some of the other bikes up for auction.
I decided I would make a pass at it.
On our way home from the warehouse I hit the bank to free up some cash… the auction fee was 3% lower for cash-paying customers. And this way I was limited to the amount I had on me, I couldn’t pressure myself into whipping out the Visa.
When we got to the auction the next day, the warehouse was abuzz with fat guys in hunting camo hats that might have well said “Git R Dun.”
The selling process was exactly how I imagined an auction would go, but it’s a lot more intense in person than it is on TV. Especially when your own, real, money is on the line.
The bike I wanted was #27B, which took a surprisingly long time to get to.
We sat through everything from quads to water pumps and the shittiest garden trailer I had ever seen. Right before our bike was the Ducati.
Jeff got comfortable with the superbike, but his wallet couldn't quite match his enthusiasm
Finally Lot 27B rolled up. I was getting seriously pumped, and I had to piss like a racehorse. The auctioneer called out a price that I could not decipher, but I threw my card up anyway in the excitement. Thank god, that number turned out to be low. One more bid from somewhere in the crowd. I raise my card again to up my bid. The auctioneer won’t stop yelling, trying to psych up the crowd to spend some money. “Shut the f*k up and sell me that motorcycle.” it feels like an eternity and the bike is still on the block, but I’ve got the high bid.
When the hammer hits the table and Jeff slaps me five, I can hardly believe what just happened. The Suzuki was mine, and for half of the money I had allowed myself to spend.
I’d liken the feeling to somewhere between the first time I had sex and when I beat Halo 3 on legendary with my college roommate. So, pretty awesome.
Now began the worst part of ownership- the dealer had my money but all I had was this lousy slip of paper, and the task of going to the insurance company, DMV, back again, ect ect, before I could get this animal on the road.
Before we left, I was allowed to move the bike from the parking lot the auctioneers moved it to after I won it back into the warehouse for safe keeping until I could pick it up. Such a tease… I didn’t even get the clutch all the way out.
But soon…
