Driving In MA Temporarily Illegal

MA Governor Deval Patrick (D) has just issued an executive order banning cars, trucks, motorcycles, and presumably every other road-registered form of conveyance from Massachusetts’ roads starting at 4pm today (February 8, 2013).

State officials say; “The travel ban applies statewide and bans all motor vehicle traffic starting at four, [and lasting] until the ban is lifted.”

Hm.  All motor vehicles, eh?  I’m putting the word out: Any pedi-cabbie who’s man enough to take advantage of this situation, bring a bottle of The Macallan to the RoadRoving Metro West headquarters and I’ll tip at least 30%.

Just kidding, we keep enough reserve here to survive inundation (or house arrest?) until Summer 2015.

Public safety workers and public works vehicles “critical to government functions” are exempt of course.

For you hoons who reckon this is a perfect time to practice drifts, donuts, and other vehicular nonsensery without the inconvenience of passive motorists… you’re right of course… but you risk a penalty for up to one-year in prison and a fine (amount undisclosed) for the privilege.

“There will be great temptation to play in the snow [following the storm] and so forth, and I totally understand, but please, please exercise caution and use common sense,” said Governor Patrick.  You know he can’t wait to build an epic sidewalk snowtunnel in front of the State House tomorrow.