If you’re not willing to admit you cruise Craigslist personals, I won’t believe you so save your comments.
I came across one just now that I felt needed to be shared with the RoadRoving community.
Got boost? Or a fast car non turbo – 21
Date: 2010-09-20, 12:12PM EDT
By the way, I got this from another girl that posted on here about the same thing.
A few musts for me: be a smoker, or at least tolerate the fact that I do. You must like sports. I’m a huge sports girl! I go to a lot of hockey games in the winter, and football is awesome! Baseball is great but the season should be shortened. Oh, and please be close to my age, I don’t like men that are too much older than me.
Please put the subject line of the car you drive
- it’s NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests
Ha, so they DO exist! That, or this is a murderer looking to target petrolheads.
The real test of her coolness of course would be to put “Lancia Stratos” in the subject line and see if she knew what you were talking about.
As you probably imagine, RoadRoving.com gets inundated with letters from modeling agencies and automakers begging us to let them participate in one of our famous fotoshoots.
So to throw them a bone, I’ll put some teasers out there for you Road Rovers to enjoy.
If you ever want to track these images down later, check them out in the “Wallpapers” page from now on.
Click on a picture to enlarge (your penis). Enjoy:
After coming across this image:
I felt like it was time for another homage to motorcycle babes. Enjoy.
In the mid 1970′s, VW built a sweet little hot hatch called the Scirocco. It looked like this:
Uh, I mean this:
I know, sweet right?
The next incarnation came out in 1982. Once again, pretty damn fresh for the era:
After the mid-80′s the car was canceled, to come back as the awesome-looking but underpowered Corrado.
When I was living in Sweden in 2009, I walked past a VW dealership and dropped my smörgås right there on the sidewalk.
I mean, this thing was hot. Low, wide, and with that trendy gloss-black roof I can’t get enough of.
Just look at those air scoops; it sucks up oxygen like I’d suck a body shot of Sauza Gold off Marisa Miller.
Needless to say, I was psyched to see these things hit the US streets.
But that was over a year ago, and you haven’t seen any around have you?
That’s because VW has chosen not to let us enjoy these lovely machines. In fact, I later learned that the car I saw wasn’t even new… it had been for sale for a year already in Europe. So my moment of astonishment chalked up to another one of the many displays of American ignorance I would put on while living abroad.
Adding insult to injury, a few days ago VW bragged about their 100,00th 3rd Gen Scirocco leaving the Portugal factory (yes, they build a lot of VWs in Portugal).
Factory manager Andreas Hinrichs even had the gall to say “The Scirocco is one of the most important cars that we produce. For myself personally, it was a moving moment.” (AutoWeek).
Just rubbing our noses in it. What an asshole.
Did I mention that 100,000th car was a Scirocco R, which puts down 265 horsepower from a turbocharged 2 liter engine and clears 60 MPH in less than six seconds? Not bad for a hot hatch. Here are some photos for your viewing pleasure. If you can’t get enough, check out Car & Driver’s gallery.
Is that a D-wheel!? Lucky European bastards!
And didn’t I mention Marisa Miller earlier?
Every time I take advantage of a sleezy cliche I regret giving my grandmother this URL.
Luckily, she has no clue how to use the internet and I’m well aware of my obligation to share this website equally with cars, motorcycles, and:
I figure if it’s okay for YouTube it’s okay for us. And I got that policy from the American Public School System, so there.
Oh, you’re still reading?
I think we’ve got a new tradition on our hands.
If you want to see more, meaning you really are a pervert, this link warrants a look:
You know what? Maybe I will watch that. In fact I’m in such a good mood I’m going to give you the link to the high-resolution version of that last image.
Another Bond clip? Why not- there are just too many premium scenes that we all need to enjoy.
This one features Daniel Craig in his second appearance as 007 driving a beautiful Aston Martin DBS pursued by gun-toting gangsters in a pair of Alfa Romeo sedans. S**t gets crazy when the cops try to keep up in a Land Rover Defender…
And who was the girl from that movie again?
That would be Olga Kurylenko. Who is much better looking than her name would lead you to believe.
Anyway it’s a sick chase with Will Smith going nuts in a Ferrari 550 Maranello and dropping great lines not limited to: “I Think I Just Done Got Mad!”
I had to find it in two halves, but they’re both worth watching:
What’s that you say? I’m forgetting about the sweet scene where Will Smith drives a Hummer H2 through some poor people’s neighborhood and blasts through like 50 houses made of trash?
You’re right, that part is awesome. Here ya go:
And since I wouldn’t want to let anyone who image searched Gabrielle Union to be let down…
Look, her dress matches the Hummer from the movie! See, these pictures are relevant.
I know what you’re probably thinking-
“Wow, what a pathetic attempt to increase website traffic. I bet there’s no news value in this post at all.”
And you’d be right.
But let’s face it, the internet needs more pictures of hot girls on motorcycles.
If you disagree, you can take your bad attitude right back to your new homepage.
It turns out there’s more diversity in the motorcycle babes category than I thought.
Pictures range from nice:
To, somewhat less traditional:
Then there are some seriously badass chicks who can actually ride the things.
Ok, that last one might not be ready for the Moto GP, but it’s a pretty awesome picture.
Even Kate Gosselin digs bikes. Check out how psyched she looks to be holding on to that lovely slab of man that is Paul Teutul from “American Chopper”
Bet Jon felt a tug on his heartstrings when he saw that one. Yah.
Nah he probably went to whatever bar these girls are at… which is exactly where I’m headed as soon as I finish this post.
In case you still haven’t got your biker babe fix, you’re in luck because I wasn’t the first person to have this idea.
It’s a good thing this bike is parked on a rug… because this young lady is not properly attired for the road.
And yes, you better believe you’ll see more girls on motorcycles here on RoadRoving.com. Why do you think I labeled this post with the date?
Notice anything different about this website?
You should… because it’s now way cooler.
No longer are we living like a bunch of hobos over here with a free URL. I’ve stepped up to that sweetass world of domain-ownership with the very legit sounding http://www.roadroving.com.
This means you’ll be seeing even more obscure cars, irrelevant images of good looking women and the presumably legitimate usage of copy-written material.
And if you’re just joining us, I assume you googled “Beyonce + hot” and my traffic-driving plan is working.
Wait, not the BACK button!
This website is still cool… just keep reading.
More To Come…
Look for new content on this blog in the near future including free pizza, my next car search, more motorcycle related content and a series of posts about the best cars on the road.
And in an effort to get some more legitimate information on this website, I’m starting a new series called “Best on the Road” where I’ll do a little profile, history and technical yapping about…you guessed it… the best cars on the road.
I’m not going to call this a “Buyer’s Guide” or try to convince you that a car is a good investment. I’m just hoping to introduce you guys to great cars you might not have heard of.
Do you ever find yourself making crass remarks at car shows, like “The T-88s on that RX-7 are giving me a boner the size of its A’pex-i N1″ then later regretting it because your girlfriend goes home with the guy working the hot dog stand and you’re stuck driving your primer-gray Civic DX home without a companion to share your shame with?
Me neither, but I bet the dudes who created carstuckgirls.com do.
I shouldn’t have to explain how I came across this site, so I won’t… but check it out. At first I thought it was a joke. Then I thought it was weird. Then I thought it was awesome.
For those of you who are too lazy/indifferent to click the link- it’s literally pictures of hot (for the most part) girls, in cars, stuck.
I’m not sure if I should be turned on, laughing hysterically or taking the cover off my winch (that’s not an allegory for my penis).
It’s not just pictures, carstuckgirls.com sells DVDs (and VHS tapes if you’re driving a DeLorean). Some kind of automotive soft-core porn style that’s supposed to appeal those with the damsel-in-distress fantasy.
I think I feel pressure rising in my nitrous tank (that’s an allegory for my penis).
According to Wikipedia, the most legitimate source of information since Samuel Morton’s “Crania Americana”, carstuckgirls.com has won several awards for its creativity.
They must be selling a lot of something, because since their inception they’ve created three sister sites, predictably called “pedalpumpinggirls.com”, “drivinggirls.com”, and the outlier “madmanmovies.com” all featuring similar content.
I just want to say that I totally had this idea… but the girlfriend wasn’t into it (the real one, not the one from the intro… which I want to stress was completely fiction). Something about not wanting to get her Uggs muddy. Typical.
What, you haven’t seen the movie “Gamer“?
Haha, of course you haven’t. But I have… and I’ve got great news for us all. The same Scottish bad-ass famous for rocking Lena Headey and giving really vague directions (“THIS IS SPARTA”) has got our way out of the dwindling petrol supply problem.
I can’t upload the clip because YouTube’s copyright warnings were too scary, but I’ll try to break it down for you as articulately as I can.
Context; Gerard Butler basically trapped inside a Gears of War-esque video game and needs to escape. He decides the best way is to steal an 80′s Silverado that the movie’s director covered in duct-tape to make it look futuristic. More on that in another entry I think…
Anyway of course there’s no gas in this hog, but our boy had prepared for this pretty much the same way I prepared for my driving test; by getting s**tfaced.
He proceeds to puke and pee into the gas tank of the truck.
Then he cranks it over and it starts like a dream.
What. The hell.
If my truck won’t even run well on 87 Octane gasoline, there’s no way this futuristic redneck-mobile could burn piss for propulsion.
There’s no point in writing any more about this… arguing the technical impossibilities this movie is as futile as trying to solve the energy crisis for real.
Here’s a little taste for those of you who don’t want to wait til this movie is on Spike TV every Sunday afternoon. Sorry about the quality, you’re looking at screen grabs of a video taping of a pay-per-view screening. I don’t get paid for this, alright?
For the love of god don’t try this at home. But if you do, send me an email with your piss-per-mile figures on a V8.
Does your computer have speakers?
Turn them off.
Then watch this:
I came across it while I was doing my homework or something, and I’m sure it’s the raunchiest of the several non-porn videos I’ve ever watched on the internet.
As such, I felt it was my prerogative… nay, my duty, to share it with the readers and casual browsers of Road Roving.
While watching it instead of going to the gym 15 minutes ago I experienced a spectrum of emotions.
First I was intrigued, then excited, and shortly after… reached an epiphany.
Society and the media were exploiting these babes by making them dance sluttily to get famous. But how could I exploit them?
Of course; add them to my website so it might come up when Google’s most common search is typed in: “Hot Dancing Girls + Shower”
I’ll be watching my stats…