I laughed out loud when I saw the concept of the Aston Martin Cygnet.
No way could this thing be real- it looked like something you’d see in a Photoshop thread on a Smart Car forum.
But when I heard the car was actually going into production I broke down and became a full-fledged, pants-peeing ROFL machine.
It looks ridiculous. Aston’s marketing plan is basically “we’re bringing sexy to the super-efficient.” But instead of coming up with a new style that would make a small car look nice, they borrowed a Toyota iQ and slapped a mini version of their DB headlamps, tail lamps, and trademark shark-mouth grille on.
I have no idea what Aston Martin was thinking. This looks like Jay-Z’s gaudy golf car, not the smart little runabout James Bond uses to go buy condoms from the 24 hour CVS when his “real” Aston is too much trouble to drive.
Don’t get me wrong- I still believe the oxymoron of “tiny opulence” can be torn down. Land Rover’s proving that with their Evoque mini-SUV.
The difference there is that LR invented a totally new look for their little baby Rover, and it was designed to be small from the beginning so the style “works.” The Aston is a farce.
The Top Gear trio are with me as well — Clarkson and company expressed universal distaste for the pokey little thing on a recent episode of the show.
I think Aston should have gone the other way, and built the SUV they threatened enthusiasts with awhile back. Cough Cough.
But then again, that thing wouldn’t have brought down the company’s average carbon emissions would it? Ahh, we’re on to you Aston Martin.
So in case you give a shit: This rolling caricature is going to cost around $50,000, and will be built at the same Warwickshire temple from which beauties like DBS’s, DB9′s and the Vanquish were born.
And when I say the Cygnet will be “built”, I mean somebody from Aston will run to the Toyota dealer, buy an iQ, swap the bumpers and stick some carbon fiber over the cup holders.
The car will available only for purchase by current Aston Martin owners at first. This way they can hang on to exclusivity for a bit longer… but I have a feeling they won’t have anybody waiting in line anytime soon.